Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
