Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
