IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
