do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
