worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My vagina just recognized that song.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
