so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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