I'm lost and stupid without you.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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