You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
