Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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