you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
