I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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