If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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