life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
And my parents said I crawled through the house
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
