the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize