pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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