I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
