dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You are the jesus of drinking
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
