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I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
