so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
