Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wanna bring you to show and tell
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
