do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
