Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
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There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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