Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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