they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
