I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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