i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
