the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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