My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
