so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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