I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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