i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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