Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
