hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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