I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
4 words: hood of his car
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
