I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
