i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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