I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
