The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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