Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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