The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize