When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize