Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
