I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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