I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
