how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
