Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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