I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I am available for nakedness
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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