Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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