he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
