I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
