Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
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After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
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Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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