Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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