please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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