No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize