Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
