Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
