I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
