I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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