My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
