He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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