For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize