Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Sext me about skeletons
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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