Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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