With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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