i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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