strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
